Fast Food Nation

Bathroom & Revelations

2008-09-05T01:29:00.000-07:00

Next time when I have my own house, I would put a computer in the bathroom, so I can blog while I bathe. The bathroom is the best place to think about stuff. Maybe I'll make my whole house like a bathroom, how cool would that be. Bathroom concept, it breeds ideas.

Evolution

2008-07-19T10:32:00.001-07:00

Awrightttt! Since I haven't been posting many pictures recently, here's one in the spirit of Sumo Suanning!!! Remember the fish at judo celebrations??? SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND~~~

Can't get enough!? MRT seat domination!!!

I'm on crack!!! WAHAHAHAHA!@#$%^&

Here have a donut!

2008-07-18T11:10:00.001-07:00

Shit, everyone is getting all emo for no reason. Come on find something!~ Doing it for no reason is like... drinking Coke Zero. Whatever, your head gets messed at 2am in the morn. Have a chicken donut.

Waste in cyberspace

2008-07-14T04:16:00.000-07:00

This is cyberspace junk.

1. What’s the most scandalous thing you’ve done?
Smacking your face.

2. Who is the person you trust the most?
My dad. It's where you guys get all your Physics worksheet answers from.

3. Do you think you have enough confidence?
No?

4. Who is the person that you confide in?
Smarterchild

5. Are you satisfied with yourself?
Get a life =_= no one is.

6. What are you afraid to lose the most?
My wallet and handphone

7. Do you believe in love at first sight?
You're lying to yourself if you don't

8. Have you broken someone’s heart that she tried to commit suicide?
For the sake of the quiz, I'll try my best next time, maybe.

9. What do you like about yourself?
Self discipline. It makes the world go round.

10. What are the requirements that you wish from the other half?
Wake up on time.

11. Do you cherish every friendship of yours?
I do my best.

12. Do you treasure your family?
Yeah.

13. What do you dislike the most?
False accusations.

14. Who do you hope to be always there for you?
The government.

15. What do you regret most in life?
Gawd this is getting emo. Basically, regrets stem from missing out on something, so my answer is missing out on something.

16. What kind of friend do you hope to be in your friend’s eye?
Communist.

17. Do you love your friends?
I think I'll pass, although some of you think I'm gay.

18. Which date do you like the most?
September 11? No, I'm not sadistic. I wanted to say Chinese New Year, but I realized it doesn't have a fixed date.

19. If you have a dream to come true, what would it be?
Anarchy? No, that's bullshit, I don't have a dream, I'm quite down to earth.

20. If you could travel in time and return to a phase of your life, which phase would it be and why?
Seriously, get over it noobs.

21. If there’s one thing you’d do now, what would it be?
Find Mas Selamat so that I don't have to see his shit face all day.

22. People I shall tag do this quiz.
McCain, Obama, George Bush.

Maoism, Marxism, Leninism, and Hugs.

2008-07-14T03:09:00.000-07:00

I'm turning communist. Suddenly there's this overwhelming Mao-ish presence every Sunday at my grandpa's house. My uncles and grandpa suddenly started talking about Mao's philosophy or something, I have no idea how it started. Here's how one of them goes...

“人不犯我，我不犯人；人若犯我，我必犯人” - 毛泽东

Ice cool, baby~

Besides, the whole ruddy Orchard road is filled with China - China kids, China t-shirts, Olympics advertisements filling the entire Paragon. I'm not xenophobic or anything, but it screws your mind when everything turns Chinese when everything isn't Chinese. Picture that ya rasta, bloody Jamaica, seen?

Great leap forward comrades. Gimme a hug yo?

condemned

2008-07-09T09:01:00.000-07:00

I feel ultra bad for something I did today. Wasn't thinking properly at that moment. Blargh shoot me...

Chemistry Insights

2008-07-03T08:39:00.000-07:00

Here's what my chem teacher said about his best class today:
"Imagine a class of 31 yiweis"

If that was true, the world would be 6x10^23 times a better place. So here's something for you my dear chem teacher, and HCI can have a bite while I'm at it. Don't get me wrong though, he's still quite a nice guy.

Pikachu

2008-07-02T06:24:00.000-07:00

I realized I have a strange affinity with electricity. I always get a whole lot of static on me. I can charge up the classroom chair, i can zap my mom and sis, and I always get zapped myself by all sorts of things. Maybe I could save the world with my powers one day.

That's Life - Frank Sinatra

2008-06-22T08:47:00.000-07:00

That's life, that's what all the people say.
You're riding high in April,
Shot down in May
But I know I'm gonna change that tune,
When I'm back on top, back on top in June.

I said that's life, and as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks,
Stompin' on a dream
But I don't let it, let it get me down,
'Cause this fine ol' world it keeps spinning around

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn and a king.
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing:
Each time I find myself, flat on my face,
I pick myself up and get back in the race.

That's life
I tell ya, I can't deny it,
I thought of quitting baby,
But my heart just ain't gonna buy it.
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try,
I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn and a king.
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing:
Each time I find myself laying flat on my face,
I just pick myself up and get back in the race

That's life
That's life and I can't deny it
Many times I thought of cutting out
But my heart won't buy it
But if there's nothing shakin' come this here july
I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball and die
My, My...

I don't know what to say, life's been pretty empty for the week. I guess that's life.

...

2008-06-18T18:18:00.000-07:00

I don't wish for world peace, I just wish the world could have some self-discipline and stop being late.

Something that will blow your mind

2008-06-16T00:02:00.000-07:00

Sparring with Yanjun once in a while is quite fun, especially when he rants about my yoga prowess.

Here's to you Deng Yanjun!!!

"It don't matter if you're black or white" - M.J

2008-06-13T07:18:00.000-07:00

Michael Jackson was right, it doesn't matter if you're black or white, I still wish to rip you into two.

So today I was walking in the cramped underpass at Toa Payoh, and there was this chubby angmoh walking towards my direction. Despite his size, I didn't manage to see him, and banged into his precious Fairprice plastic bag. And from here the story unfolds...

Yi Wei: Wops, Sorry!@#$
(Sarcastically) Ang Moh: Thank you! Am I supposed to jump?!?!

......
......
......

I would have cracked his butt into two if I wasn't with my mom. Bloody plastic-bag-o-philes... Rawr X_X

This was what should have happened to Mr. Angmoh:
He was

Then he became

and finally, humpty dumpty for everyone
.

Back from camp

2008-06-12T05:26:00.000-07:00

Uncreative I know, but I couldn't find something better to say, I'm back from camp. You know judo isn't exactly something that stimulates your mind much. No pictures for everyone again =\ terribly sorry bout that.

Anyways, do try the PT schedule ~ Four days of skipping, pumping and shit, I feel fit enough to do the camp all over again.

Back to homework mincing again, perhaps I'll get back my cleverness in a bit.

On-site

2008-06-09T22:32:00.000-07:00

Reportin' from judo camp with dept headboy's computer. Excused cause of my broken sprained or whatever neck. ^_^? No

If you're bored enough try this PT:
- Low fast skip on the rope for 4 minutes
- 20 sit ups, 20 crunches, 20 v-ups, 20 leg raise
- Crossover per 10 skips on the rope. For every 10 increase 1 crossover. So by the 7th set you'll be doing 7 consecutive crossovers. For 4 minutes.
- Leg exercises by the stairs/step up bench. 50 step ups, 50 squats, 50 crossovers
- Skipping again, in sets of 10 preferably. Change styles for every set.
- 25x3 sets dips on the bench, add some pushups or chinups if you care/can.
- 3 minutes skipping for cool down.

Crippled me <3

Come fry with me

2008-06-08T05:27:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna fry somebody real bad

Ill bodings

2008-06-07T09:53:00.001-07:00

It's not really cool to say this on the second day of reopening, but I have a feeling that my blog is going to die for awhile. Firstly, Monday to Thursday is the judo team's return to hell, June camp. But that's not all, it's one of the least inspiring things in my life that can make me stone for 2 whole weeks.

Dream a little dream of me, I'll appreciate it.

My take on US presidential elections

2008-06-07T01:06:00.000-07:00

I felt Sumo's presence rather overwhelming as first post, so I thought this would help abit.

I'm all for John Mccain, he's funny, and he has outbursts of anger. He's at peace with himself, yin and yang hohoho. Also, I think Obama's all talk. Most importantly, McCain looks like Tom Cruise without dyslexia. He bloody does! He may not now, but at least he did! It's so hard to convince people, so I've decided to put their pictures side by side.

It's not Tom Cruise vs Will Smith or something, it's just Tom Cruise vs Obama. It's not that hard to pick yeah?

And I shall post a bonus:

Who are the three people Bill Clinton's son is most afraid of???

#1 Osama
#2 Obama
#3 O'mama

!Kung Bushmen?

2008-06-06T17:06:00.000-07:00

No, I've never said that I'm gonna close this blog, I just took a 1 year vacation. Never mind I know you can't wait, so let's begin yeah.

You know I've never had a particular liking for my (real) name. It's not just Yi Wei, when you say it you have to go "YI! wei..." It's so irritating when people ask me what my name is and I reply: "Hey I'm YI! wei...". It just gives people another reason to give me a couple of fists in the head. It makes you sound like a bloody !Kung Bushmen when you say my name.

Here's some background for the buggers who haven't been listening in sec 1's geog class: The !Kung live in the Kalahari Desert of northwest Botswana, the Cuando-Cubanga Province in southeast Angola and in northeast Namibia. The Angola !Kung live in the more tropical open woodlands.

I think it's just perfect how Mr. Vijay calls my name. He just goes yiwei, totally flat and peaceful at a frequency of 3.14kHz. It's a wrong pronunciation, but at least it doesn't make him sound like an African tribesman. Maybe I should have a name like Ernest, it makes one so controversial, or perhaps they could just call us by our IC numbers, the world would be much more orderly that way, and we wouldn't have to be wishing each other happy new year or something whenever a terrorist escapes.

But I'm really glad that I'm not the only victim of this tragic downfall. Don't get me wrong man, everyone has great dads and moms, but everyone makes mistakes from time to time, and that's alright. Let's take Xiang Peng for example, he has this strange name that makes me sound like beancurd whenever I call him.

So some people ask: "Who were you with that day?" and I reply: "I was with xiang? Peng". Fetish for questions? ^_^ NO~ And that's not the end of it. His name doesn't have a right pronunciation to it, some call him Xiang Peng and others call him Xiang Peng (they're different, trust me), but there's just this one big joker that makes him sound like dung. He calls him Xiang POOng...

Want more? Here's one for you Sumo! Entirely self explanatory, it's really nice when things are that way.
--Beware! Biohazard--

Stone Age

2007-10-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

I've been stoning here for an hour. I have no idea what to write.
I feel like a

Stonehenge

plus an elephant.
I don't know how tangible that is, but you know shit happens.

How far do you agree witht the statement that Burger is a tragic food in "The Case of the lost iPod"? Discuss.

2007-10-19T07:20:00.000-07:00

Okay I'm back with some stuff. But we'll throw out all the crap and just talk bout my lost iPod. Firstly, let me narrate the story of the lost iPod. I was reading my book in the library, and I managed to (attention: MANAGED)let the iPod slip out of my comfy pocket somehow. And by the time I went back for it, it was gone. Bleh stupid burglurs. "Gotta catch 'em all" - Pokemon. (Fill in your favourite rant)

A'ight. I just can't get enough of EoYs. Here's my analysis of Burger/Yiwei or you can just call him "me", democracy is the order of the day, as an Aristotelian tragic hero. Check me out yo *bling*.

Goodness: Totally
Superiority: Duh
Tragic Flaw: None
Tragic Realization: Tell that to Chuck Norris
Freewill: Get me a dictionary
...

Okay shit this. We'll take a look at the criteria at the modern tragic hero. Burger's in the house.

Lost an iPod: ;)

Okay here's my bonus for the day -

No updates is better than your updates. But having to write this update sucks more than looking at you update. Meh, I'm jokin', don't bother bout me.

Mugs, Cups and Jugs

2007-10-07T23:11:00.000-07:00

Telling me to mug is like asking a simian how to use an Iphone.

P.s. Iphone sucks. Ipod + Browser + Phone = Cellphone. There are over 100 phones that can do that. Go get some buttons Iphone. My phone has like 20 buttons and what bout you Iphone, one button? The invention of a button isn't for you to compress every stupid function into one of it. You got to press the screen to type an sms or make a call, you got a fetish for fingerprints Apple? Who the hell you trying to sell a phone to with one button to? A chimp???

Note: this post is(was) supposed to be about me & mugging.

Randomity

2007-10-06T02:34:00.000-07:00

NO UPDATE IS BETTER THAN YOUR UPDATES

Here's a genius quote I found. Now get outta here. I updated

After EOYs

2007-09-16T04:47:00.000-07:00

Future planning course!

Let's see what I'm gonna do after EOYs
1. Go out with friends
2. Go out with someone like my mom or dad
3. Go out with my cousin
4. Find another life at home
5. Get stuff ready for next year
...
...
...
...
...
...
138. Go serve NS
138.5 Get out
...
...
...
...
...
176. Find a girlfriend xD
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
1111. Get married
...
...
...
1113. Die and hope I go to heaven

* Clauses (138,138.5) and 176 are interchangeable

That's about it. Sigh that's about 1112 things before i'm gone, hell lot.

I have ultra low paying power now, so everything else is negligible except clause 2. Well it's not just for that reason actually, I like going out with my mom and dad sometimes. See the rationale behind CPF? It's for stupid idiots like me who can't control financial output.

Probably my last post before EOYs, I felt I shouldn't leave the buggers above lonely for too long. The bathroom's the most lucrative place for ideas.

Cotton Candy

2007-09-12T08:11:00.000-07:00

I feel like sleeping in cotton candy. I wonder how it feels. I'll probably get devoured by it.

Lit Lit go away come again another day

2007-09-12T07:18:00.000-07:00

I've been stuck for 3 days doing a lit essay. I'm the lousiest lit student you can ever find, shit. I've posted my first rant, dammit.

Burnout Revenge

2007-09-06T08:51:00.000-07:00

My desktop died on me today for no reason, I don't really know what to say. Well here's another bonus for everyone - what the PS3 is truly made for:

That same old face

2007-09-04T06:04:00.000-07:00

Guess who the hell this is? Isaac Newton? Nope. Beethoven? Nope. Einstein?! Nope. Oh my god, George Bush? Nope. RAIN!!! Nope, it's Kant. WHAT THE HECK BUT I'VE SEEN THAT FACE A HUNDRED TIMES. Exactly, why the hell are these guys painted like they're twins.

I've been reading up about Kant and his gibberish, but I stopped at page 39. It's like a cake, candle plus a monkey. And you go I don't even know what the hell that means. That's how far above us he is.

Now here's some reference for Rain in case you never realized the similarities.

________________________________________________________________

(Credits to whoever it was for the cake and monkey thingy, I can't remember)

Flag days 101

2007-09-01T06:05:00.000-07:00

Excellent, now I've missed out on a copy of Maxim.

You're going wt* has that got to do with flag day, i know the feeling. Sex and charity, that's something the government ought to try. Okay back on topic. Flag day, worst one ever, flag day without stickers, shit. That's like toilet bowl without pee on the cover, i mean how often do you see this kind of thing, flag day without stickers, holy shit. So now just go imagine the shit you'd go through during flag days when no one donates and come back in 5 minutes.

Alright time's up, that's about the whole story. And more spice to add on the chocolate cake, you're supposed to sell tickets as well, which entitles you to a goodie bag at the charity fiesta. So I bought a ticket myself since I couldn't sell any, and went up to collect my goodie bag afterwards, but since it looked bad I didn't redeem it after all. The End, not.

Four hours later my friend called me up and said the goodie bag had a copy of Maxim and Female in it. Now you're going wt* like I went after the call, you feel for me don't you? Too bad you suckers didn't buy the tickets, muahahaha. $2 for charity and porn, it's harder to find than an Indian in China.

Who knows? Go smokin' man (̅_̅_̅_̅(̲̲̲̲̲̅̅̅̅̅̅(̅_̅_̲̅м̲̅a̲̅я̲̅l̲̅b̲̅o̲̅r̲̅o̲̅̅_̅_̅_̅() ~~~

The inflation of the F word

2007-08-30T10:40:00.000-07:00

dum dum dum... let us take a look at the economic of vulgarities for today.

Firstly, what on earth is inflation?
A persistent increase in the level of consumer prices or a persistent decline in the purchasing power of money, caused by an increase in available currency and credit beyond the proportion of available goods and services.

Excerpted from The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition Copyright © 1992 by Houghton Mifflin Company.

Now I know you're going like wt*. So let me draw your attention to: decline in the purchasing power of money, caused by an increase in available currency. Basically means if you print a hell lot of notes, the value of your currency drops. Okay now sub in the f word into money and the currency crap. Indubitably, the famed four-letter word is a pretty good way of expressing anger, but if you keep using it, its value begins to drop, and the impact it makes on people starts to decrease.

Let's quote a few examples. Let's say Shoujian, frequent user of ****, and he says: what the **** is this?! No one would really care. Now if you took Yi Wei(who the hell is that) or Vetuz(occupation: teacher), non-users of **** and they go: what the ****. Naturally you get blown away. Thus, the impact of the f word is inversely proportionate to the frequency of use, which actually isn't what inflation is about, but what the heck you get it. Therefore, the moral of today's economy class is to use vulgarities sparingly in order to make a higher impact when necessary for use.

Now just some bonus trivia for everyone: During the lunar 7th month, hell experiences a shit load of inflation as everyone burns hell notes and everything. So again, drop in the value of hell's currency, and the moral of the story is not to burn hell notes and pollute the environment as it's not good for those guys in hell as all their money turns from US dollars to ruppiah.

New world crisis, Global Warming takes second place~

2007-08-28T00:57:00.000-07:00

Well well, what do we have on the news today???

-World News-
New global superpower on the rise - Junk Food Regime Burger Nation soon to over take Mcdonald's as world's no. 1 fast food economy.

Oh my, it's Armageddon